Everyone has heard about the stereotypical frustrated guy who uses Tinder. He seems to have no communication skills or ability to articulate himself past short messages like "are you dtf?". Unsolicited pictures of genitalia and things of the like are extremely unlikely to land you a date. If they do, this is what pickup artists refer to as the fools mate. They call it that based off a chess move that is designed to quickly win against inexperienced players. Usually it takes no less than 4 hours of direct communication before a woman will consider moving things to the next level. This can be via text, phone calls, or in person.
To many, Tinder is very much a game of attrition. According to reputable pickup artists, in the non-digital world most men are going to be successful in finding a mate if they approach about 30 women and talk to each one for no less than 5 minutes. Its a character building process that many pickup artists have their protege perform in order to calibrate themselves. The unfortunate truth is that this is very hard to do through an app where context means everything, and so few men using Tinder and other dating apps are calibrated well enough to have a meaningful and classy conversation.
Whenever I'm about to go on Tinder and talk to people the first thing you should do is relax, meditate, and watch or read something very interesting to talk about. The simple one liners never work unless you look like Brat Pitt. Most of us do not look like Brad Pitt, but I would give him the same advice.
Never volunteer information unless she is asking you for it, and never answer directly. An articulated statement that seems to fall softly from the sky is the best way to answer questions, but most importantly you want to be the one interviewing and demonstrating higher value throughout the process. Here is a list of suggestions that could lead to a classier conversation.
- Don't curse.
- Don't virtue signal at all.
- Don't talk about money directly
- Don't talk about money
- Don't get sexual unless she does and you have talked for at least 4 hours
- Dress classy in your profile pictures
Your opening lines are pretty important because much like your Bio and your pictures they tell a story about who you are. You want to make sure that you are speaking in a context she understands and usually people will go with the flow if it feels good. For example if she puts on her profile "Please don't talk to me unless you are completely honest with me and yourself", you could say something like "I'm an open book".
We hope you found this advice useful. Remember that once you have plans on Tinder its important to do follow up texts. A lot of dates fall through after a guy makes plans but he fails to maintain the conversation long enough to see it through.